DAY THIRTY SIX - What I know for sure (about me)

Readers of Oprah Magazine are familiar with the last page where Oprah writes a small piece entitled "What I Know for Sure". She doesn't lecture us from On High about life, the Universe and everything. She talks about what she knows for sure about herself, a lesson she's learned, an experience that's opened up her eyes. Sometimes the reader can relate to what she's saying, and sometimes not. 

A few minutes ago I got back from my second visit to the gym on the top (50th) floor of my apartment building, Sama Tower. Once again I am blessed with a "treadmill with a view". Actually there are views from everywhere in the gym through the floor-to-ceiling windows.

This corner of the gym has several treadmills and eliptical machines. The treadmill in the middle is "mine"  ;-)

For many reasons, some under my control and some not, I fell off the exercise wagon several months back. Hard. I mean after 8+ years of exercising and training with a personal trainer, I came pretty much to a grinding halt. I feel it, it shows, and it hasn't been a good thing. 

So here I am starting a new life in Abu Dhabi. Everything is new once again, kind of like when I moved from Syracuse to Ithaca in 1993, and then from Ithaca to Hoboken in 2003. I seem to be on a 10-year cycle of some sort.....

This time, though, things are wayyyy different. And while I am excited at the opportunity to be here and oh-so-open to new sights and experiences, what I know for sure is that for the sake of my sanity and my health and happiness, I need to be grounded. For me that means imposing some routine on my life. I don't mean filling up every day on my calendar with something. I don't mean I need to schedule in "busy-work" just for the sake of something to do. No. What I mean is I personally need a framework upon which to build my week because otherwise I feel untethered, I feel like I've been tossed into the middle of a large body of water and can't see the sides to even know which direction I should swim. 

And so here I am in Abu Dhabi, and I need to ground myself. I need to ground myself so I can be free to explore and learn and have the courage to put myself out there and meet new people. My first step, and it seems so obvious and natural, is to re-establish a gym routine. 

I was delghted to discover that the main Fitness Center on the 4th floor is staffed with 7 (I think) trainers, and NYUAD offers a FREE 7-week training program to all its students, faculty, staff and their spouses/partners. You just sign up and meet twice-weekly for a 30-minute session. Two days ago I marched myself to the Fitness Center to chat with the director in person, and now I am scheduled to meet with my trainer, Melissa, this Sunday afternoon. I am so psyched!

It's my first step, twice-weekly training, and that will also motivate me to go to the gym between session. It feels so good simply knowing this is on my calendar. Does this make sense? Am I the only person like this? 

Well, I can't speak for you, but knowing I need some structure in my life is what I know for sure.

Check this out - adjacent to the top-floor gym is a lovely pool and whirlpool. You can't tell but it's open to the sky and just lovely. I haven't used the pool yet, but you can bet I will and soon. 

DAY THIRTY THREE - Taking things for granted

This evening we concluded our long, relaxing, chill-out-and-do-nothing-special National Day weekend with dinner at Doug's favorite (thus far) seafood restaurant, Finz (a play on the word "fins"). I feel like you must be getting sick of me waxing on about my lovely meals. Just trust me when I say the meals I don't talk about, and that's most of them, are usually salads from the local hypermarket or the Grab-and-Go on the first floor of our building. 

I've been hearing about Finz for ages. When I'd talk to Doug after a long day of packing and cleaning at Dad's he'd mention he'd had dinner at Finz with an NYU associate. I realized Doug was not exaggerating about dining there regularly when we walked in this evening and everyone, from the hostess to the wait staff, greeted him like an old friend. Seriously.

The food was indeed excellent. Finz has a reputation for being the best seafood restaurant in Abu Dhabi, and that's saying a lot in a city that sits on the Arabian Gulf and has a fish market reminiscent of the old Fulton Fish Market. You can see the dhows going in and our of the harbor daily, their nets piled high in the stern. 

Fishing Dhows lined up at Al Meena Harbor in front of the fish market. The Abu Dhabi skyline is across the way.

The restaurant is part of the Rotana Beach Resort but sits apart from the main complex. It's a relatively small structure set on the beach, A-frame in design, and surrounded with decks. 

Finz Restaurant

The interior is simple but elegant with a vaulted ceiling that exposes the structural beams and a polished wooden floor. Mood lighting, soft music, and the gentle sound of lapping waves set the mood.

We sat inside at the table in the far left-hand side of this photo, tucked into the corner by the windows. This is an old photo because the small barrier island across the way now houses a huge Cleveland Medical Clinic plus other skyscrapers. The view to the Gulf is completely obscurred, which is sad. Still the ambience of the place is warm and lovely. 

"Nice", you say, and you'd be right. But it turns out this restaurant, this structure, is unique in Abu Dhabi. 

"Unique?" you say and look again at the pictures.

It turns out that Finz is the only building in Abu Dhabi made completely out of wood.

When I first read this in a travel guide of the region I did a bit of a double-take. I took a pause and digested the information. Upon reflection it made sense to me. In a country that is mostly sand and has very little vegetation, much less trees that can produce lumber, it makes complete sense. 

I spent the first 60 years of my life in the Northeastern United States. As a child I lived in New York State's Hudson River Valley with its view of the Catskill Mountains purple in the distance. I lived most of my adult life in Central New York with its green rolling hills and Finger Lakes, and finally I lived in Hoboken. Even in Hoboken we have trees! Though I knew better, I pretty much took trees and, by extension, wooden houses and buildings pretty much for granted. Yes I knew in some parts of the country, even our our Southwest, that wood houses were less common. But still I was taken aback to learn that there is one, and only one, totally wooden building in Abu Dhabi. 

I think it's a good thing indeed to be reminded that many things in our lives that we take for granted and don't think twice about are pretty darn special in other parts of the world. 

DAY THIRTY TWO - Thanksgiving in Abu Dhabi

Abu Dhabi is a country of ex-pats. As I mentioned in one of my first blog posts, 80% of the population comes from other countries. Surely then, I reasoned, some of the restaurants would provide a Thanksgiving dinner for the Americans because, if for no other reason, it would be good for business. 

I did some Googling and came up with a list of restaurants. I was calling at the last minute, so I struck out with my first few restaurants. To my relief 55th and 5th, a restaurant at The St. Regis Resort on Saadiyat Island, had openings for two at 7:30 p.m. Perfect! According to the website the British chef had "created a special menu for the occasion", and although I couldn't find the menu itself listed, I trusted that it would be good. This was the St. Regis after all, right?

At 6:30 we hailed a cab and off we went. Darkness had fallen, and in anticipation of the upcoming National Day I could see buildings brightly lit with the colors of the U.A.E. flag.

These building were a blur as we drove by, but you get the idea. Lots of red, green and white (black is the other color on the flag, but it's kind of hard to have black lights). When I first arrived Doug told me with a note of surprise in his voice that the city was decorated for Christmas. This didn't sound right to me since it's a Muslim country, so when I found out about National Day, the decorations made sense. 

I wished it was still light outside as we drove up the long, winding entryway to the St. Regis. I could see lots of palm trees and flower beds, and I'm sure it was spectacular. It sits on the Arabian Gulf side of the island, so in daytime the views out over the water must be beautiful.

The St. Regis Saadiyat Island, United Arab Emirates

We found our way to the restaurant, and as it turned out it was not crowded at all. The maitre d' showed us to a lovely table tucked into a niche which felt nice and private. Then she handed us the menus - the regular dinner menu as well as the Special Thanksgiving Menu. I opened up the latter, my mouth already watering in anticipation of a lovely turkey dinner with some creative sides. To my utter surprise I saw Whole Roasted Yellow Chicken with a Bread & Lobster Stuffing. 

What?!?!? I read it several times because I thought surely this could not be right. I'd no doubt this was a lovely dish, but it was NOT turkey! I looked at Doug, and it was clear he was thinking the very same thing as me. 

I put the Thanksgiving Menu aside and picked up the regular menu because really, if I couldn't have turkey then I was not going to settle for a chicken. Whole. Yellow. Roasted. Stuffed with Whatever. It was still a chicken. 

Our lovely server explained the regular menu, and we learned that 55th and 5th specializes in Wagu beef. I am not normally a beef person, but at this point I figured if I wasn't going to have turkey then I should go for the specialty of the house. We decided upon Chateaubriande with Bernaise sauce, and it was absolutely melt-in-your-mouth juicy perfection. 

Our gracious server presenting our dish.

Here is my meal. It came with house-made potato chips (crisps) which were very thin and light, and roast shallots. I got a Caesar salad on the side as well, and Doug opted for the potato puree (aka mashed potatoes).

Alas there were no apple or pumpkin dessert options on the menu, so we "settled" for a warm chocolate souffle with hazelnut ice cream and all those beautiful and edible garnishes. Not a crumb was left :-)

So while I did not have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner, I still had an absolutely delicious meal. And most importantly, I got to spend it in Abu Dhabi with Doug. No complaints. None.

DAY TWENTY SEVEN - Easing Back In

"It's gotten quite a bit cooler since you left", the airport guide cautioned me when I told her I'd been gone a month.

The automatic doors whooshed open, and I stepped out into the night. The air was indeed cooler, a lovely 73 degrees, and the humidity had thankfully dropped as well. Palm trees were silouetted in the airport lights.

I was glad the limo driver didn't want to talk. I was tired - exhausted in fact - and I wanted nothing more than to ride into the city in silence. The main road from the airport is always well lit, but now regularly interspersed along the median were sparkly decorations with Arabic lettering and large number 42's. The buildings lining the road were draped with lights in the colors of the U.A.E. flag.  I had read the "Gulf News" paper en route from Frankfurt and knew early next week is National Day, this country's version of our Fourth of July. The country was founded forty two years ago, the same year I graduated from high school, and Abu Dhabi, the capital of the U.A.E. is all decked out for the anniversary celebration.

These decorations are outside my door at Sama, but they are identical to the ones I saw along the highway on my way from the airport. The falcon imagery or symbol is everywhere, kind of like our American Bald Eagle.

The driver deposited me in front of Sama Tower, and I dug out my NYU ID card so I could pass by security. Once in the elevator I paused before punching level 23. What was my apartment number? I was only in Sama one week before leaving for the States, and now a solid month had passed and I was so, so tired. 

Thankfully Doug opened the door at my slightly hesitant knock, and I stepped into the place I would now call home for the next ten months or so. It was familiar, yet at the same time it was new to me again. Doug had gotten some snacks for me: grape leaves, fresh hummus and pita, and a variety of dates and little cakes, but I wasn't hungry. I was so woozy with fatigue that all I could think about was crawling into bed and falling into a deep sleep.

Why is it that sometimes when we are at our most tired, sleep eludes us? I lay in bed, and my mind wouldn't stop. As if my trip over were not long enough, I had to play it over again in my head. I thought about my dad in Maryland and my friends in Hoboken. As the sky lightened almost imperceptibly, I heard the morning Call to Worship. I looked at my bedside clock: 5:25 a.m. It wasn't till around 7:00 a.m. that I finally dozed off, and four hours later I was awake once more.

"You better get up now or else you'll be awake again tonight" I told myself. 

But I couldn't move. I lay in bed for several minutes before finally crawling out from under the duvet. I stumbled around the apartment, wandering randomly. There was the suitcase sitting open on the floor, my clothes spilling out of it. I pulled out some things and then walked to my closet and stared at the drawers, trying to remember where I'd put things. 

"What's the matter with me? Why can't I remember things? Why am I so foggy?" I chided myself.

As I moved slowly about the apartment my head began to clear. I looked out the windows which had been cleaned on the outside during my absence and observed that with the cooler, dryer air my view had expanded. Whereas before the Arabian Gulf and sky blurred together just beyond the skyline, now the Gulf extended far into the distance. The Emirates Palace, barely visible through the humid haze a month ago, seemed so close I could reach out and touch it. 

I heard the roar of an approaching jet, but it was immediately obvious this was not a commerical aircraft. It was too close and too loud. I scanned the sky and a lone fighter tore into view, executing deft rolls, smoke trailing behind it. Then it did several loops and climbed high in the sky only to plunge straight down to the earth before leveling off and doing yet more rolls. I love air shows, and here was one just for me! I guessed this was a practice run before next week's National Day celebrations.

As I began to feel better and calmer I could hear my friend Roger's voice in my head. "Be kind to yourself, Kathi". 

Yes, it's been a crazy few months. The abrupt move to Abu Dhabi and then back to the States only three weeks later to be followed by a month of non-stop work, moving my father from his house to a retirement community in Maryland. It's no wonder I felt exhausted and disoriented. 

"Stop. Sit. (Or Stand!) But stop. Pause and ground yourself. Cut yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself."

Postscript:  I wrote this yesterday and am editing it now after an excellent night's sleep. I am already feeling SO much better. Abu Dhabi.... I am back!

DAY TWENTY FIVE - The adventure resumes

It was exactly 4 weeks ago today on October 27th that I left Abu Dhabi and flew back to Hoboken. The past four weeks were a blur as I finally settled my father-in-law's estate and then jumped right into moving my dad from his home of 50 years to an independent living community minutes from my sister and her family in Silver Spring, Maryland. I managed to fit in shopping for things to bring back to Abu Dhabi, and I spent some lovely time with friends. 

But dear heaven it was a stressful four weeks. Many times I woke up in the middle of the night and had a few moments of disorientation: "Where am I? Am I in Hoboken or in Clinton Corners in my childhood bedroom? Or at Lori's in Maryland? Or Abu Dhabi?" One night I remember waking up alone in bed and thinking, "Oh Doug is still doing email out in the living room. I need to go get him," only to realize in the next moment that he was half a world away. 

I am so grateful I was able to come home and get my dad settled. Now I can rest easy knowing he is in a safe and comfortable place with lots of neighbors and plenty of activities to occupy his time. My sister is thrilled that he is near so he can join their family for holiday meals and attend his grandchildren's school concerts and other activities. I feel such relief knowing Dad's house is completely cleared out and cleaned up so when it is finally sold (fingers crossed) there will be nothing to do other than deal with the paperwork. And I am so happy I was able to meet up with many of my friends. 

But I am very, very happy to be returning to Abu Dhabi. Before I left I was able to get our apartment set up, so when I arrive I can simply unpack and settle in. Now that I know I will be there for a good chunk of time I can begin exploring in earnest and find interesting activities or classes...... who knows? I can begin planning Jeff's Christmas visit, and then in January my friend Linda is flying in from San Francisco, and among other things we're going birding in the Dubai Creek area. My friend Mary Catherine wants to rendezvous in either India or Africa. I mean how cool is that? And I am hoping other friends will be able to come visit in Abu Dhabi or meet me somewhere in Europe. I can hardly believe I have these opportunities!

Mainly, however, I am looking forward to returning to Abu Dhabi so I can rejoin Doug. When we decided to go over with his NYU job it was with the idea that it would be an adventure we would share. The past few years have been challenging for us, and even though his position at NYUAD is intense and will require vast amounts of his time, we are committed to exploring and enjoying this time together. I can't wait!

Let the Arabian Adventure resume. 

I'm flying back on Lufthansa with a 7-hour (ugh!!!!) layover in Frankfurt. I've never flown a 747 before, so this is another "first" for me. 

DAY TWENTY FOUR - To be continued......

As I type this I am over the Atlantic approaching Greenland on my way to JFK. Doug and I left for Abu Dhabi so abruptly that there was business left undone in Hoboken. Loose ends that need tying up. There is also my dad.....

Dad is fiercely independent, but these past few years have been difficult for him. He lives in a house he built 50 years ago in the countryside outside of Rhinebeck, NY. But after years of declaring he could "hold out", he has decided that it is time for him to sell the house and move. My sister and brother and I were very relieved when he came to this decision because he's 88, and we worry about him.

This past Spring my sister, Lori, and I found a lovely place for him just minutes from Lori's home in Maryland. He toured it, loved it, and put his house on the market. Months passed. People came and looked, but there were no takers. Then three weeks ago as Doug and I were in a limo headed to JFK to fly to Abu Dhabi I got a text from the realtor. "Call me. There's been an offer on your dad's house". 

I flew to Abu Dhabi anyway because you know how these things go. I'd also planned to return in three weeks time in any case to take care of those loose ends I mentioned. So while I was setting up our apartment and shopping for appropriate clothing and exploring and meeting people and writing this blog, all that time real estate drama was underway.

Thank goodness for Lori. She talked Dad off the ledge more than once, and she and the realtor, George Whalen, dealt with a difficult potential buyer and their shrew of a realtor. One day I'd get an email and all was well. The next day Lori would write, "Call me. We have a problem." And so it went.

Today I woke at 6:15 a.m. to get ready for my 7:30 pickup and 10:30 a.m. flight to JFK. I rolled over in bed, picked up my iPad and read an email from Lori. The subject line read, "Deal's Off". 

So I am on my way home. I have those loose ends to deal with. I am looking forward to meeting up with my friends over coffee or lunch or dinner and catching up on things. But then there's dad...... What to do? 

My emotions are all over the place. I do very well when I have a Plan. I can deal with Plans. I make my flow charts and my lists. I cross things off and I get thngs done. But what to do? What's my plan now? 

It's another 5 hours before we land. I am trying to stay awake so that I can sleep tonight and hopefully get myself on Hoboken Time in sort order. That's a plan.  I remind myself that I am not in this alone - my sister, brother and I are a team, and Doug is 100% supportive. We'll work it out.

Challenges. Surprises. Questions. Emotional Roller-coasters. Oh my. 

In the meantime, it seems only appropriate to suspend my Arabian Notes until I am actually back in Abu Dhabi. It will be a few weeks at the very least I am sure. 

Till then.

DAY TWENTY THREE - Searching for some history

In my quest to learn about the history of Abu Dhabi, the United Arab Emirates, and this area in general, I have been reading guide books, Googling, and searching out historical sites. It is proving to be more challenging than I'd anticipated.

The U.A.E. is a relatively new country. In 1971 Great Britain withdrew from the Arabian Gulf, and the country was established under the leadership of Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan of Abu Dhabi. He was clearly a visionary and ruled until his death in 2004. This man's picture is everywhere. As best I can describe it, he is the U.A.E.'s George Washington. He used the vast fortune brought in by the offshore oil to build the country, specifically the cities of Abu Dhabi and Dubai which were formerly small fishing and trading settlements. These cities with their sparkling and wildly imaginative buildings are the face the World sees in magazines and on tv shows, and it's very real.

The Burj Khalifa, the world's tallest building, is in the center of Dubai. Last weekend Doug and I went to the Dubai Mall, the world's largest mall, which sits at the base of the building, and just outside of both is a large plaze with the world's largest fountain. Do you see a theme here?

The Burj al-Arab in Dubai is designed to mimic the sail of a ship, the traditional wooden dhows of the region. It is built on a man-made island and has an underwater restaurant, gold fittings, dancing fountains, and rooms with your own private butler. It is ultra expensive.

The U.A.E. is constantly building malls, and each one is larger and more over-the-top than the next. I have learned that malls are not just places to go to shop. They are much more in this country. They are destinations. In a country where you simply cannot be outside in the heat of the Summer months, I suppose it makes sense to create these large, air conditioned complexes where you can shop, dine in places that range from regular food-court establishments to high-end restaurants, go skiing or skating or bowling, see movies or even live performances, and entertain your children at an indoor amusement park. 

This is the Ski Dubai complex. Yes, you can ski, snowboard and sled in the middle of the dessert.

If you don't want to actually experience the cold of Ski Dubai, you can just observe from the adjacent Mall of the Emirates which is part of the complex. I am told they have recently added penguins to the complex. 

The Emirates are also building resorts everywhere. I have never seen such a concentration of luxury hotels and resorts, and I am told they are all booked. High-end housing complexes are also under construction all along the coast, and on the many islands. Where there aren't convenient islands, they construct them.

The Palm Islands, Dubai. These islands are man-made and feature luxury homes with their own docks and beaches. Ka-ching!$!$!$!$

I must admit I find all these projects impressive. Not necessarily the style of some (a bit "much" for my tastes), but the scope of the projects, and the engineering required to build in this part of the world. If you have the time, an interesting YouTube video to watch is DUBAI: The Greatest City in the World .  Not exactly a modest title!

But what of the history of this region? Yesterday Doug and I decided to visit Heritage Village, which is listed in all my guide books, and indeed I had passed by it on my way to The Marina Mall. I figured this might be a good place to start.

Heritage Village is run by the Heritage Club, and it is described as "a reconstruction of a traditional oasis village".

This stone hut has a thatched roof, and one has to step down about two steps to enter. I think this helps keep the place a little cooler. "Little" being a very relative term in this dessert country. I like the juxtaposition of this old-style hut with the modern city-scape in the background.

While I was peering in the doorway, a young arab couple came up to me with their iPhone and asked me to take their picture. This happens to me ALL the time in Hoboken because people love having their photo taken with Manhattan behind them. I guess asking a stranger to take your photo with a smart phone is universal now. Once I took a photo to their liking, I thought "why not?" and asked them to take one of me and Doug.

Lots of sand! 

There were some token animals on hand. Not many, and I kind of wish they had more. But.... they did have this one dromedary camel as well as a beautiful Arabian horse, a donkey, a cow, some goats, and a small flock of ducks which roamed freely and swam in the fountains. 

I think this must be a traditional fishing boat. The beach here was lovely, and you can see the skyline of Abu Dhabi across the way. 

I do love seafood, and this chart shows the fish found in the Arabian Gulf.  Fish are a big part of the diet in the U.A.E., and I look forward to sampling the different preparations over the next year.

I spied a small flock of these little birds just digging away in the sand, tossing it everywhere with great energy. I sent a photo to my "Birding Friend, Linda", as she is known to my Hoboken friends, and she identified them as English House Sparrows. Apparently they were taking a dust bath which helps to rid them of parasites. 

My take on this place? It was nice as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. There was a little area that was supposed to be a traditional open-air souk, but less than half of the stalls were occupied, and they were selling only touristy stuff like cheap magnets and stuffed toy camels. I would have loved to have seen some real local crafts for sale.
There were some artisans on hand in another area, but it appeared that they were just doing demonstrations of weaving and metal work (making coffee pots). There were huts marked "glass" and "leather" and "women's crafts", but they were empty, which I found disappointing. 
There was a small museum which had simple displays of weapons like 19th-century guns, knives, and bows & arrows; currency; pages from a Koran; jewelry and clothing. The items were labeled but no descriptions or explanations were offered, so I didn't get as much out of this museum as I could have, which was disappointing.
I did not go to Heritage Village expecting to have a Sturbridge Village or Williamsburg experience. I had very modest expectations, but even those were not met. I think this small place has potential that is not being realized. As a visitor I have a hunger to learn about this country, its history and culture, and I would love to see more resources directed toward this small site and others like it. 
But..... I have not given up. I have just begun. If there are some real historical sites out there, not just recreations, I am going to find them. I am on a quest.
Stay tuned!